My new job is being a stoned prick! The reason I have taken this job is not so much because of the money (the money is shit I spend more than I earn on just getting stoned) but mainly because I have always wanted to say “I’m just doing my job” while acting like a prick! So if you see me and I’m stoned remember I’m just doing my job.

If you see me and I steal your wallet and house keys before breaking into your house and taking everything you own remember I’m a stoned prick and I’m just doing my job.

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